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My marriage is over

I am so depressed. I have been with my husband for 6 years now and we lived together before we got married and everything was fine. We have 3 children but things have been going downhill from the beginning of the year. He never wanted to do anything for Valentines Day. I got him a card and a present and he didn’t bother getting me anything in return. I booked a table at a really nice Italian restaurant and I had to cancel it. He refused to go and said he was going to his mates to fix his car. I thought he would make up for it later but he didn’t and when I tried to talk to him about it he said that Valentines Day is just a waste of money.

Since then he started having sex less frequently with me. I went to weight-watchers and have lost 2 stone and started going to a gym to look more attractive. I dyed my hair blonde and have started to wear make-up and bought a new wardrobe of clothes. I thought this would make him find me more attractive and expected our sex life to blossom but it hasn’t. The sex became even more infrequent as he kept saying he was too tired. I backed off and just tried to cuddle up with him in bed and to be patient. After a couple of months he told me he didn’t love me anymore and didn’t want to continue our marriage. I am so depressed I have lost all my confidence in myself. My family said that I should put up with it as we have kids but he doesn’t want to know.

Sarah from Leeds

This marriage is not working and you both know it. It is time to face reality now you have done everything in your power to make the marriage work but like you said he doesn’t want to know. The best thing you can do is to end your marriage and live separately. The children will be happier to live in a comfortable environment as opposed to one where the parents are not happy together and it is not fair on your children to give them a false illusion.


It is good that you have lost weight and changed your image, you must be feeling better but at the same time although it is good for one’s self confidence to have a makeover make sure you are doing it for you and not somebody else. The right man will love you for who you are.


He doesn’t love me

I have been with my boyfriend now for 1 year and he still says he doesn’t love me. He said only believes that true love comes once in a lifetime and he loved his ex girlfriend so he cannot love anybody else. He says he hates her and would never go back to her.. I get so jealous when he talks about her because he is always talking about how he wanted to marry her and have children with her but he says he doesn’t believe in marriage anymore and doesn’t want to have any children. I know he is scared of getting hurt. Do you think I should just be patient or do you think I am wasting my time with him?

Vicky from Nottingham

It sounds like he hasn’t got over his ex. If you are looking for commitment with this man then I don’t think it is going anywhere. It takes time to love somebody. Some people fall in love with people quicker than others and if one has been hurt then it will take that person longer. However if he is saying that he doesn’t want to get married or have children and you do then you are wasting your time with him. It would be better in the long run if you were to walk away from this relationship now.

 

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