mels womens problem page

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No matter what problem you have regarding your love life, or any other issue Mel is here to help!

I have lost the love of my life to someone else

I have been with my boyfriend Stavros for 4 years but for the last 9 months we have had a long distant relationship as he went back to Athens, Greece to study for a PHD. I am in my final year at university here in England and I was planning on going back to Greece to find a job after completing my studies We have met each others family and talked about getting married and having kids. He has been busy with his studies but everything else was great even the sex.

.I went back to Athens for a vacation to see my boyfriend and my family. On the second day I got a phone call from another girl, Sophia claiming she was his girlfriend and warning me to stay away from him. She said has been seeing him for 9 months. We arranged to meet up to find out what was going on. Apparently he had been lying to me and she said that he told her that I wasn’t his girlfriend and that I was pestering him.

I took him back and forgave him as he said that she wasn’t his girlfriend and that she was lying to me but he had been having sex with her but there was no emotional attachment and that he was in love with me. However, the other night he called me from Athens and told me the other girl he was seeing is pregnant and he has decided to end our relationship so that he can commit to her.

I am in shock and I want nothing to do with him but his brother is living with me as I live in a shared student house and I speak to his mother every day when she calls. I have a fantastic relationship with his family and they treat me like one of their daughters. Now I cannot focus on my studies and I cannot bring myself to tell his family. I want him back but cannot have him and I am so jealous of his girlfriend especially as she is expecting his child. I do not know how I can cope.

Dimitra from York

You need to avoid communication with Stavros as you have no future together and the only way you can move on is to forget about him and you will not be able to forget him if you are still in contact with him. I think you should come clean with his family as you need to be honest with them. Do not let this experience get in the way of your friendship as it is not their fault. You should never take somebody back who has cheated on you as they will do it again so this is a blessing in disguise.

Time is a healer and you need to be on your own to focus on your studies. Avoid getting involved with somebody else so suddenly as you need to get over your ex so you do not lead anybody on. You are also feeling at your most vulnerable and if somebody new rejects you it will be too traumatic. Check out my guide on How to Know If Your Man Is Cheating! Hopefully next time you will be able to avoid men who cheat.

Is your man Cheating

If you have a problem Email Mel at: maraschino18@hotmail.co.uk

Help my friend come out of her shell

My best friend suffers from low self esteem. She is really shy and doesn’t like being the centre of attention because she gets embarrassed. Plenty of guys are interested in her but when I tell her that she won’t believe me. Recently I have observed that she has become more isolated and withdrawn and hardly leaves the house. I don’t know what to do to make her come out of her shell and feel better about herself.

Anne from Nottingham

It sounds like something has happened that has blown your friends confidence away. Unfortunately it sounds as if it is out of your control now. I don’t think the idea of feeling attractive is something she can handle right now to be honest. Therefore I suggest that you concentrate on your friendship. It sounds like at this moment in time she needs companionship so just focus on hanging out with her like going shopping together, go bowling or watch a movie. Don’t worry it is probably just a phase she is going through. If she is really shy and reserved then she will probably need support from her friends and family. Check out my article on how to build your self confidence and overcome shyness.

My friend’s man is a control freak

My friend’s boyfriend is ruining her life. He doesn’t like her drinking, going clubbing, talking to guys, wearing make-up or short skirts and high heels. Her boyfriend always tries to put her down and feel inadequate about her looks and intelligence. He thinks that my friends and I are a bad influence and provokes arguments with her when we are out together. Her colleagues say she doesn’t wear make-up anymore for work and her male colleagues said that she is not her chirpy self and hardly talks to them anymore. How can we knock some sense into her that he is no good for her. She just tells us that he behaves that way because he cares about her.

Samantha from Essex

The problem with men that date your friend is they are very insecure. They have to exercise control over something or someone to feel powerful. Her boyfriend sees you as a threat because you bring out her confidence and make her feel good about herself. He cannot handle that because he has issues and is jealous and intimidated by her confidence. My advice would be to be patient because she will eventually get fed up of his behavior and will feel trapped. In the meantime avoid clashing with him and tell her you miss her and are looking forward to linking up and going out with her again..

My boyfriend has left me in a financial mess.

My boyfriend has just walked out on me for another woman he met over the internet. Now he has moved out to live with her and he has left the area. I had only known him for 8 months, but he was crazy about me so we decided to move in together. Lately he has just been boring wanting to stay in all the time and use the internet and play on computer games. He has turned into a slob and I have had to do all the housework and DIY. I felt sorry for him as he said he was depressed so I put up with it. Now that he has gone he has left me to pay all the bills and now all the Gas & Electricity bills have gone through the roof, I don't know what to do.

Katie from Cambridge

Well, you should have gotten to know him better before you let him move in, but what's done is done. You need to contact the companies and explain your situation and you will be able to pay off your debt over a period of time. ,I would strongly advise you to change your Gas &Electricity l to a cheaper one immediately. You can do this by clicking Here

Porn is destroying our relationship

My boyfriend is looking at porno sites and making feel inadequate. He says he isn’t cheating on me as they are only pictures but I am scared that this will lead to him cheating on me. He knows I don’t like it but he told me that all guys look at porn but non of my other partners did.

I don’t understand why he needs to fantasize over other naked women as I am attractive, have a good figure and I am highly sexed. I am sexually adventurous but he says he likes to look at something different instead. .It is ruining our relationship as every time he looks at another woman I am jealous and paranoid and we end up arguing. I never used to mind as I check out other guys it is natural but now I don’t like it cos he fantasizes about other naked women. I don’t need to look at other naked men as I am happy with my boyfriend sexually but emotionally it is making me depressed. Do I have to put up with it because I don’t think I can?.

Jenny from Newcastle

Some couples enjoy watching porn together to get ideas and spice things up. They see it as having a positive impact on the relationship and that it is harmless. However if he is getting off on fantasizing about naked women then he will more than likely start to look elsewhere if given a chance. The fact that he continues to do this and this makes you unhappy shows that he doesn’t care or respect you. If you say that you never used to mind him looking at other women but now it bothers you it suggests that he has other motives especially as he doesn’t have any consideration for your feelings. I suggest that you give him an ultimatum and say that if he wants to keep you then he needs to ditch the porn otherwise you will find someone else.

I fake orgasms

My boyfriend is putting pressure on me to have an orgasm and I don’t enjoy sex as much now as I am worried in case I do not orgasm when we have sex. The sex was great before even though I didn’t orgasm. I have never had an orgasm and my boyfriend says it is because other guys don’t know what they are doing but I didn’t have a problem with other partners they turned me on just like my boyfriend does. Now my boyfriend expects me to orgasm and he says he made all his other partners have orgasms so there must be something wrong with me. Now I have a complex and feel inadequate being compared to other girls. It has gotten too much and now I fake orgasms just to avoid the arguments but now sex feels like a chore. How can I enjoy having sex again without faking?.

Lucy from Kent

Don’t worry millions of women do not have an orgasm.. How do you know that other women that your man has been with have had them too? Maybe they were just faking it . Don’t bother faking them in future just tell him that he is putting too much pressure on you to orgasm and sex feels like a chore. If he doesn’t understand and continues to make you feel inadequate and compare you to other women then walk away.

My partner is ashamed of me

I am so depressed, my partner refuses to be affectionate in public with me even though I am attractive. He says that he wants his privacy. He has told his mates that I am his girlfriend but refuses to kiss or hold hands when they are there. He says it is because they don’t have girlfriends so it doesn’t look very nice. However he is always going on about how beautiful other girls are in front of his friends when I am there and I don’t think that it is nice especially when he doesn’t give me any compliments. When I try talking to him about it he says it is best to be open and say what he thinks but if he can be so open then why can’t he be affectionate with me? We keep arguing about it cos he thinks I am being insecure but I think he is the one who doesn’t respect me.

Natalie from Manchester

You are right he doesn’t respect you. He wants to exercise his control over you to make you feel insecure because he has issues and is behaving very immature. Find yourself a real man who respects you, compliments you and is proud of you, there are plenty out there.